Keep Calm and Get High with Gamzee
by Life Exorcist
Summary: Sam comes to a warehouse to rescue Dean from an inexperienced kidnapper, and is faced with something he didn't expect: being forced to spend the day with his irrational fear. Rated T for minor language and substance abuse.


**I don't even know... This is weird, I know, but I'm doing it anyway. Because I am the WEIRD MASTER. Just kidding, there's a lot of other writers out there that are weirder than me. (She admits grudgingly.) Anyway, here you go.**

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><p>Sam Winchester opened the door to the hotel in whichever part of the country he and his brother were working a case for at that time. "Dean? I'm back." He frowned when there was no answer, and made his way deeper into the room, closing the door behind him. Sam looked around, seeing no sign of Dean, until his eyes rested on a note on one of the nightstands. He opened it up and read the scrawled handwriting.<p>

_Sam Winchester,_

_I didn't think I would pull it off, but I kidnapped your brother and am currently holding him at the address that is on the back of this sheet. If you want to see him alive again, you will come alone and unarmed. (I've always wanted to say that!)_

_Yours,_

_LE_

Sam huffed and looked on the back of the note, memorizing the address. It wasn't that far from here, so he took the car and drove down to what appeared to be an abandoned warehouse. Great, he knew how this would end. But the note had said unarmed, so maybe whoever it was didn't want to kill him? Pfft, yeah right. But still, Sam didn't want to risk his brother's life, so he left everything in the car and walked in. He didn't see Dean anywhere, so he did the only smart thing.

"Hello? Dean? And... Whatever the note said? LE?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I must've fell asleep. Hi, Sam!" And out of the shadows stepped... A short, not-scary, not-threatening looking, light-brown-haired, pale girl with big black glasses framing blue eyes, wearing jeans, black converse, and a black t-shirt with someone on it that took Sam a minute to place...

"Is that Cass on your shirt?" Sam asked, confused.

The girl looked down at her shirt, "I knew I shouldn't have wore this shirt today! I just didn't know I'd be doing this _today_..."

Sam rolled his eyes. Obviously this girl didn't know what she was doing.

"Okay, let's get introductions out of the way so you can tell me what you want. Um... What are you, exactly? Demon, vampire, angel, trickster, what?"

She focused her attention on Sam at that question, "Oh, I'm not anything. I'm completely human."

Now Sam was _really_ confused, "Then why exactly did you kidnap Dean? You're obviously not very good at it."

"I didn't do it with any personal motive in mind. I was just the hired help."

This only perplexed Sam more, "Hired by who?"

"Um..." She hesitated, "Promise not to kill him?"

Sam gave her a look, "Sure..."

She then immediately cheered up, "Okay, then! Gamzee, you can come out now!"

Sam looked in the direction the girl was talking to, and instinctively took a step back. Because what came out of the shadows was... Well, it's hard to explain. What came out of the shadows was a gray kid that looked about thirteen, with messy black hair and long horns that faded from red at the base to yellow at the tips. He was wearing a black t-shirt with the symbol for Capricorn on it in dark purple. But the reason that Sam stepped back was because this kid had black pants with gray polka dots on them, and his makeup was done up like a dark clown.

"Honk." the clown alien- Gamzee, she called him- said, smiling.

The girl giggled nervously, "He's been wanting to meet you for a while. Sam Winchester, this is Gamzee Makara. Gamzee, Sam." She looked at Sam, "So you are going to spend the entire day with him. Your brother will be here to pick you up at the end of it." And with that, she left, leaving Sam alone with the clown.

Gamzee sat down on a big purple couch that Sam was sure hadn't been there before, "Sup." he patted a spot on the couch next to him, "Sit down, chill a little."

Sam stepped back farther, "I don't think so... I'm sorry, you seem nice, but honestly, you freak me out."

"Oh, but I'm not a scary motherfucker, you'll see." He offered Sam a bottle of Faygo from a cooler that also held green pies, "Just sit down, slam a Faygo, have some pie... We'll be best bros soon enough."

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><p><em>Meanwhile, at the hotel room...<em>

Dean waited in the room for the girl to come back. He had sneaked back in after Sam had left, and he was waiting for this girl (who insisted on being called LE) to get back, confirming phase 2 of the plan to be complete. He looked up as LE came in using the key-card Dean had loaned her.

"So, is my brother hanging out with the clown freak now, or what?"

She smiled and handed him back the key-card, "Yep. You should've seen his face. He was terrified."

Dean grinned and offered the girl a fist-bump, "Best prank ever." LE smiled and returned it.

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><p><em>A few hours later, when Dean picks Sam up...<em>

Sam looked over at Gamzee, a stoned smile on his face, as he ate _yet another_ piece of sopor slime pie, "Hey."

Gamzee returned Sam's gaze, "What's up, Sambro?"

The stoned Winchester had a hard time getting his thoughts together as he said, "You know, I normally don't like clowns and stuff like that, but you... You're actually pretty awesome. You're like my best friend, you know that?"

"Aw, thanks. You're my fucking bro. Do you want more pie?"

Sam looked at his plate and saw that he finished his piece, "Hell yeah." He heard footsteps, and saw that Dean had walked in, "Oh, hey..." he gestured vaguely toward Dean, "Gamzee, this is my brother, Dean."

Gamzee waved, "Sup."

Dean waved back awkwardly, "Hi." then to Sam, "Time to go."

Sam pouted, "But I wanted to stay a little longer."

"Too bad. We have to work on that case tomorrow, remember?"

Sam searched his head for memory of a case, "Oh yeah, the case." he glanced at Gamzee, "I have to go."

"Alright." He handed Sam a bottle, "Have a Faygo for the road."

Sam took the Faygo, "Thanks, man. We should do this again sometime."

Gamzee nodded, "Sure. Later, Sambro."

Dean walked his completely and utterly baked brother to the Impala, "If you throw up in my car, I swear to God I will have your hammered head on a stick." ... "Sam?" He glanced over at Sam to find he had fallen right asleep. Dean sighed, pulling away from the warehouse and driving back toward the hotel, dreading when he would have to carry Sammy in later.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<br>**

**Here it is. My first crossover, played off of Sam's fear of clowns and the fact that Gamzee is (technically) a clown. I'm not entirely sure if anything changed with the clown thing, as I have not watched all of the episodes in chronological order yet. This idea was pretty much pulled out of nowhere, so review it if you enjoyed it, and if you didn't like it, tell me what I can do to improve. Thanks for reading, see you next fanfiction!**


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